Thoughts under a lonely moon
by yume girl 91
Summary: A series of short interconnected drabbles that tell the story of a lonely Arrancar and the petite Soul reaper that befriends him. :D COMPLETE!
1. Thought

He turned over. The curtains were down casting the room in near darkness. Within it he heard Lilynette's soft grumbling and felt the bed shift some on her side. The blanket was tugged off. He let it lie at his waist; one hand lay across his chest the other draped behind against the pillow cradling his head.

He thought of many things, which wasn't like him during the hours of the day.

He thought of different faces none of which brought any comfort.

Finally his wandering mind settled on the one face he had heretofore given little thought to.

That of the female Shinigami, Rukia Kuchiki.

He then thought of her large violet-hued eyes, her jaw set in stony determination that nothing and nobody could shake which was unusual in one so weak, _he could almost admire that_, he thought. _If she wasn't a Shinigami…_

_Indeed. It certainly was a pity she wasn't an Arrancar. _

His eyes soon closed.

~Finis~

Note: Don't own Bleach. Nothing else to say except reviews-not flames-are appreciated!


	2. Dreams

"What do you dream, Shinigami?"

Caught at unawares, Rukia stared at him uncomprehending. "What do _I_ dream?" she echoed. The dark head pillowed on folded arms, nodded slightly then when she didn't move, added dryly, "sit. I loathe having someone hovering over me."

Her eye twitched and she couldn't resist muttering all the while she dropped down to the rooftop, "you're the one who doesn't belong here. I don't know why I should cater to someone like you."

"Someone like me?"

"Yes." She tilted her chin up haughtily, "someone _like_ you."

"Not some _thing_?"

For a moment she was taken aback and hastily averted her face to the quizzing gray eye that opened and peered at her.

"Hmph! I—I have no idea what you're talking about. You're the one who—"

"You never answered my question." He propped himself up on his elbows and favored her with a long look, "I don't know you, you don't know me. Arrancar, Shinigami. Whatever. However you did interrupt my nap for that…answer and I'll leave."

"Just like that?" Rukia eyed him warily, suspicious at once.

_He didn't seem at all like…_

"Uh-huh."

_Without any bloodshed? _

He was waiting.

"I don't dream. I fall asleep, get up and…no."

He seemed disappointed.

He got up, walking to the edge of the rooftop, "I do. When I sleep I dream of a world like this one."

He opened a portal and stepped through, leaving her speechless.

~*~

Note: Thanks for reading. Reviews—not flames—are always appreciated.


	3. Curiosity

~Curiosity~

_-When I sleep I dream of a world like this one_-

Rukia mentally shook herself, wondering just why such a simple phrase could disturb her so much. It had sounded almost wistful. But that couldn't be. Arrancars were just like Hollows, soulless creatures without their hearts. They didn't feel emotions, or loneliness.

They existed like animals.

It wasn't entirely known why they fed. Felt the need to fill themselves

No one had ever bothered asking that question.

~*~

"You again!!"

An eye cracked in response. "Oh, it's you."

"Yeah it's me! I happen to belong here unlike somebody!"

"So now I'm _somebody_." He sounded vaguely amused.

She scowled, huffing angrily.

"Sit."

Indignant but compliant, she sat down again like before, her arms crossed.

The ghost of a faint smile flitted across his face. "You seem angry. Why is that?"

"What a genius. So you noticed." She remarked dryly, prompting a slight luxuriant shrug. "Well. Why are you upset?"

_Because of you! _She longed to say but felt strange admitting so_. _

Instead she tilted her head at a questioning angle, glancing at his relaxed posture of a slouch against the rooftop shed. Her eyes dropped to the jawbone that hung around his neck, her thoughts from earlier occurring to her.

"Say…why do Hollows eat souls?"

_He was one. He should know. _

"How should I know?" he said without even opening his eyes.

She became instantly irritated, "you should since you're one!"

His head lolled her way, his voice came out a little thick almost as if in a near drowse, "what makes you say that? We're not all the same, you know. It's rude to compare us that way. You're also being _too loud_."

_Too loud am I?!!_

Rukia glared but couldn't find the right words to tell him what she thought of him.

After a moment of watching him settle down, his upraised arm providing a nook for his head. She began quietly, "I…I was curious about something—"

"Oh Kami-sama. Not the souls thing again. I already told you—"

"Not that, idiot." She interrupted scathingly, "something else."

"Ah well…?"

"The way—you made it seem—"

"Uh huh." He scratched his nose with a long gloved index finger.

"I mean the other day—do you wish you were alive?" she blurted out.

He seemed to consider it for a moment then shook his head briefly once. "No. It isn't that."

Despite herself she leaned forward, curious, "then what?"

He observed her expression then chuckled softly, "I'll tell you another time."

_Idiot_. This time it was she who stood up and walked away. Not being able to resist commenting over her shoulder, "maybe there won't be a next time!"

"Whatever you say." She heard him reply cheerfully.

*~*

Note: no flames. No idiotic spammers. :P


	4. Know my name

~Know my name~

Without opening his eyes, he sensed a small foot lunging toward his lower half. "I'm awake." He said quickly. Lilynette huffed and prodded him anyway. "Stark, how come you sleep less now?"

"I don't know. I just do."

The child-like Arrancar pouted, "that's no answer and you're just as lazy anyway."

"Uh huh. Say, Lilynette…"

"Yes?"

Stark folded his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling, "what do you think of the Shinigami? Are they really our enemy?"

"Of course they are, silly!" she punched him ineffectually on the ribs. "Thinking like that could get you in trouble with Lord Aizen!"

"Perhaps." Then thoughtfully he added, "Maybe some of them aren't as bad as we believe."

"Huh?" she looked confused.

"Lilynette," he sat up, "there's someone I want you to meet."

"Here?"

"In the living world."

~*~

Now there were two of them.

"It's a SHINIGAMI!!!"

"It's another Arrancar!!!"

"Could you both please keep it down?" Stark calmly interrupted; they eyed him like he was insane. "Sit down, Lilynette and you too, Shinigami."

With an angry huff, they sat down opposite each other.

And stared; finally Lilynette spoke, "and who're you?"

"I might ask _you_ the same question." The Shinigami threw Stark a furious glare. It couldn't be denied that he purposely had sought her out. Waiting until she was completely alone before showing up, his fraccion in tow. _Now for introductions_, he thought. "You never told me your name, Shinigami."

"Why should I?!" she roared.

"It's only polite." He replied with composure he knew she found irritating. _Oh it was fun pushing her buttons. _

"Hmph. Kuchiki Rukia." She crossed her arms and turned away.

He was undaunted, "Lilynette." She looked and nodded briefly at the small Arrancar who grinned evilly. "And I'm Stark."

"Stark? That's a weird name." She didn't look quite so angry anymore. Lilynette reached over and grabbed a hold of his arm, clinging tightly, "uh huh. He's mine! No sharing!"

She laughed.

Lilynette looked affronted, "what's so funny?"

"Nothing. It's just I've never heard a Hollow speak like that about another. It's odd is all."

"Yeah well we're _Arrancars_, not plain old dumb Hollows." Lilynette corrected her.

Rukia pretended to see, but shared a secret wink with him.

_He was pleased_.

~*~

"Stark…"

They were back in Las Noches.

"Hmm?" he wasn't asleep.

"That Shinigami wasn't…" Lilynette struggled, "like what I always pictured them to be."

"I know what you mean."

"Are you going to see her again?"

"Maybe…" he smiled.

" 'Cause I want to come too!"

*~*

Note: Thanks for reading and reviews—not flames—are always appreciated.


	5. Two halves

~Two halves~

_Would their absence be noted? _

Thoughts like this never occurred to him, traveling between the two worlds. The instant he and Lilynette set foot in the land of blue sky and mild sunshine everything else seemed to melt away. It wasn't as though the divide had disappeared, Rukia retained a certain amount of distrust for them, one that slight though it was, still pained him somehow.

He didn't so much blame her as the rest of the world. Being what he was as well as Lilynette, even if they had been long ago one form. He tried explaining once to Rukia this particular bond if it could so be called that—perhaps more of a way for her to understand the fraccion's clingy possessiveness.

_He didn't want her to think the wrong thing about them._

Or so he told himself.

It wouldn't be right to allow her to keep thinking it was some sort of human-like _affection_ that kept Lilynette hanging off of him nearly every second of sitting on a rooftop or whatever place chosen as the meeting's sojourn.

Rukia smiled a little and pretended to understand but he could tell she really didn't. It was too difficult explaining in as few words what had driven a being as powerful as him to separate. Divide. Two halves that had been one whole once. Stark wondered if she guessed the truth as her smile saddened still a curve of her mouth but lacking joy, looking at them.

It wasn't pity he saw.

~*~

"I wouldn't mind…"

"Hn?" he glanced to the foot of the bed where Lilynette sat, her knees drawn up to her chest. She appeared deep in thought and gave hardly a notice to his curious look.

"I wouldn't mind if it was _her_." She muttered to herself.

He had to wonder just what Lilynette meant by _that_.

Though he had his suspicions.

~*~

Note: had some time and typed it out. :) Thanks for reading—no flames—but reviews are appreciated. :) Check out my profile for a link to my StarkxRukia pic. ;) It goes with the story.


	6. Never with you

~Never with you~

Oh joy…

He was called before Aizen.

_Another order to carry out._

Stark faced the high throne, assuming at once a pose of obeisance. "Your commands, my Lord?" he asked shortly, knowing Lilynette was waiting anxiously in the room for him. _After a meeting seemed to be the best chance of no discovery being made of their absence. Or so he reasoned_.

"There is a Shinigami…"

For some reason he couldn't fathom, he stiffened, eyes straight ahead.

"Kuchiki Rukia…"

He hissed softly; _what he most feared had come to pass_.

"You've gained her trust now capture her and bring her here. Stark."

He thought of many things to say to dissuade this action on his part. None seemed appropriate for this monster that called himself a God. _He was left with no choice._

"It shall be done." Stark bowed.

_Aizen knew about her_.

~Living world~

He had left Lilynette behind. Never hiding the Garganta he opened carelessly to the human world. Stark stepped into the weak autumn sunlight and sensed the warmth of welcome gone. The lines had been drawn, _he had chosen his lot and it was against her_.

She had felt him from faraway, acclimated as she was to the faint particular energy signature he gave out. Like always, she detached from the others and wandered off. It wasn't everyday they came and usually it was earlier than this…a fact she commented upon when he was only a few feet away.

"You're late."

"What?"

"You heard me. It's nearly dinnertime," she crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes in a slight glare reminding him it was his fault they wouldn't have as much time together before the others realized she was missing. Stark mumbled something, looking away. He hadn't sat down as per usual and she wondered at his wakefulness.

"Lilynette didn't come?" she glanced around, the fraccion was nowhere in sight.

"Uh no…not this time." He replied, refusing to meet her gaze. "Oh…" Rukia thought about sitting but without him making a move first, didn't. Wind gusted, leaves skittered, grating on her ears in the quiet. _Something was wrong_. "Stark, did—"

"All of the Espada represent an aspect of death." Without a trace of emotion in his voice, he continued, his eyes finally lifting and resting on her pale face chilled by the cold. "Despair. Sacrifice. Old age…and mine." He watched her expression, the furrowed brows trying to keep up with what he was saying, trying undoubtedly to understand the reasoning behind him telling her this.

"Loneliness."

His Sonido was fast, faster than her eye could see. In an instant he was beside her, one arm around her small body. He could sense her surprise in being drawn so close yet not displeasure at such an action. "Stark…?" her head tilted up; he was allowed one single second of looking into her eyes, beholding a gaze lacking fear.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, stabbing her from behind.

~*~

They would tell her _she was a fool_.

Trusting in one such as him.

Because.

Wasn't the wound she was recovering from proof enough?

~Las Noches~

"Stark…" Lilynette flew off the bed where she had sat cross-legged for the last two hours. "Where were you and…" her one eye wandered over his face and uniform streaked with blood. "Whose blood is that?!" her voice went up an octave higher.

"I don't want to talk about it." He said quietly, pushing her aside. Scowling she looked after him feeling terribly confused, "but aren't we going to see Ruk—"

"No!" he snapped, angrily rounding on her in a way that he never had before. "We're never going there again so stop asking!" he stomped over to the bed and threw himself down, covering his face with his hands. Lilynette approached after a moment, sensing his rage subside. "Stark…" tentatively she poked his arm gaining no response save for a soft murmur.

"I'm…such a fool."

~*~

AN: poor Stark. He didn't want to force her to go to Las Noches so he wounded her to make her believe they were enemies. He befriended her to gain her trust…blah. Then showed her blood staining his uniform as proof to Aizen that she got away…but not unscathed. :Poor dude. Thanks for reading—no flames or idiotic spammers—but please review! :)


	7. We always hurt the ones we love

~We always hurt the ones we love~

~One month~

"Stark, get up."

". . ."

"Stark—"

"I'm fine." He mumbled, making a shooing motion with his hand. Lilynette wasn't convinced. Glaring, she muttered, "If you're so fine then why don't you get your lazy ass up and make an appearance or something?"

"Don't need to."

She stared at his head of messy brown hair, and thwacked him once. No response. She tried again much harder and still he didn't move. Lilynette sighed and shifted from foot-to-foot, she hated using this tactic but if nothing else worked…

"What would Rukia say if she saw you like this, hmm?"

"Shut up." His voice was muffled against the pillow. "Lazy jerk, she'd say and I'd have to agree with her tho' change jerk to slob and maybe—"

"Just Shut Up!!!!!!" he roared, finally halfway rising from the bed, his bloodshot eyes startled Lilynette who hadn't expected it. He looked bad. Sick, was the thought that came to her mind, but she couldn't think of anything that might affect him and not her…unless…

"Stark—" she began; he flopped back onto the bed. Determinedly she went on, "ever since that day you came here soaked in blood, you've been like this. Now tell me! Whose was it?!"

A queer half-smile crept onto his unshaven face, his mouth half lifted in silent amusement. "Hers." He croaked out raspily, relieved almost to be speaking upon which that had burdened his conscience and caused irreparable damage.

"What…?" Lilynette was faintly horrified.

"I stabbed her so that I wouldn't be forced to bring her here." He explained like it made the most sense in the world. "I didn't want to make her a pawn in his game…there was nothing else…I could do." There was a certain defeat in his tone, a bowing to the cruelty and will of others. Lilynette saw but yet couldn't understand the sort of feeling that could bring about the sort of course he had chosen.

"Oh Stark…" she laid down beside him and rested her head on his arm, "you're such an idiot. This'll pass…it'll pass like everything else has." He gave sign of hearing her but indeed he had. The weight of his fraccion lying against him was real but it gave no comfort. The memory of the briefest moment of holding her body against him…

~*~

_She had to find her. She had to tell her the truth_. Lilynette agonized for hours, keeping watch over Stark's dreamless sleep. Dark circles shadowed his eyes; his hair lay lank and unkempt on the pillows. Remnants of yesterday's dinner still crowded the bedside table. With disgust Lilynette looked upon this and made her decision.

She herself would go to the human world and seek her out. Something had to be done! Even if she wasn't sure what…

~Living world~

Night was falling. Lilynette hurried from rooftop to rooftop searching for the one spirit pressure she was sure to still find. A girl clad in yellow pajamas stood alone atop of the rooftop of a clinic, watching the moon in silence.

"Rukia?"

The girl started and spun towards the edge of the roof where Lilynette hung, poking her head above the shingles. "Lil—Lilynette?!"

"The one and only." The Arrancar muttered, hoisting herself up the remaining way. The Shinigami eyed her approach with something akin to fear and mistrust. "What're you doing here?"

"That's of no concern right now. How are you?"

"F–fine." Rukia answered hesitantly. "Oh that's good. He'll be happy to hear that." Lilynette muttered absently. Though she was loath to have his name pass from her lips, she couldn't help but feel slightly curious. "St—Stark…is he—"

"No." Lilynette looked away downcast. "It's about him that I came."

"What do you mean?" she asked carefully.

"He's sorry for what he did…but Rukia! He's…falling apart…I just don't know what to do anymore!"

"What happens to my enemy is of no concern to me."

Lilynette flinched at the cold, hard that had crept into the Shinigami's voice. "You don't get it do you? He hurt you so he wouldn't have to take you to Lord Aizen!" Rukia's stunned silence convinced Lilynette she had done right in admitting the truth.

"What…did you say?"

"This is what I know…"

~*~

Rukia sat quietly thinking for a moment after the fraccion had related to her everything.

"Can you…take me to him?" she finally asked.

_She didn't know if this was such a wise choice._ She watched as Lilynette tore open a dimensional rip into an empty hallway of white. She took one step forward and then another until she was beside the fraccion. Her hand slid into the other's small bony one and held on.

Briefly she glanced back over her shoulder to the left behind scenery and saw the face of her best friend staring after her in horror. It was too late to call out to him_. Renji_…the Garganta sealed behind them. _I have to do this_…_I'll be back soon_.

~To be continued~

A/N: So Stark is lovesick among being consumed by guilt and Lilynette's going to sneak Rukia inside Las Noches to see him. Thanks for reading—no flames or idiotic spammers. But reviews are appreciated! :)


	8. Burnt bridges

~Burnt bridges~

"Here." Lilynette pushed open one of the many plain unmarked doors lining the hallway. Rukia, unaccustomed to the bleak chill of the other world, glanced about; nervous tension filling her body. From the sliver of the inside revealed by the opening of the door, she first caught a glimpse of all-consuming white and then a bed and a form heaped atop it; facing away from them.

"Stark?" the fraccion ventured to say, ushering Rukia in with a light push. When no answer came, Lilynette nodded toward the bed with a jerk of her head. _Wake him_. The message was clear but she hesitated to approach. _What if he_--

"Go on!" Lilynette hissed. Rukia glared back at the fraccion, irritated that she had dared to order _her_ around. A slight rustling however soon turned her attention to the matter at hand and she sighed. Her eyes traveled over the the expanse of his back and unruly hair. She noticed it looked slightly matted as if he had been running his fingers through it--and pulling. _Would this really be alright_?

"Stark..." slowly she approached the side of the bed, stretching her hand out to his shoulder...nearly there. "Stark!" a little louder this time as her confidence increased. Lilynette watched on hopeful by the door. No response. She began to become annoyed.

"Stark, it's me--!"

"Rukia?!"

She jolted as he started up, grabbing her wrists tightly in a speed that she had only witnessed once much to the detriment of their..._friendship_? She felt strange admitting it. "Why the hell are you here?!" his voice was sharp in a way that she had never heard him speak in before. Rukia shook her arms trying to lessen his grip, her struggle only bringing them closer together. "What do you think, dumbass? To see you of course!" she muttered, averting her face from his; _her cheeks were made warm in such proximity as he held her in_. "You could let me go too..." she muttered quietly, not understanding the cause for her embarrassment.

He ignored her. "I'm not dreaming...am I?"

She instantly stopped trying to pull away and turned incredulous eyes that widened upon sighting his serious expression. _He meant it_. "D-did you think I..." she had a hard time continuing over the rising lump in her throat. Irritated, she opened and closed her mouth several times before hastily swallowing with difficulty again. His luminous gray eyes rested on her face. "What?" his voice had softened now and he no longer gripped her wrists with a desperation like that of wanting to hold onto something to keep it from disappearing.

"...couldn't forgive you--" she was surprised and more than a little startled as his arms went around her. _Once I knew the truth_. Rukia bit her lip, her body tensing in his embrace. When she realized nothing more would come, she settled against him _almost_ complacently, her head resting on his shoulder.

"You wouldn't believe..." some emotion thickened his voice and her eyes closed. "How much I missed you." Her shock was great even more so with the innate belief that he had spoken no lie. "I--"

"My! Don't you two look cozy!" someone sneered from the doorway. Stark immediately bristled and stood to his full height, the weight of his hand protective against her back. Rukia turned; another Arrancar in white had joined them. His uniform formed a bowl-shaped hood framing his long oval face, an eyepatch covered one eye, a smirk curved his mouth while in one hand he held a struggling Lilynette. "You bastard!" the fraccion hissed. Rukia saw the flash of anger and rise of reiatsu wash over her.

"Nnoitora," Stark spat.

~Living world, Orihime's apartment~

"Cooerced? I think not, Kurosaki-san." The Captain General spoke gravely, surveying the stunned faces of the advance relief team and the deputy Soulreaper through the screen. "But, Rukia wouldn't--!" Ichigo started forward, his features ablaze with anger at the idea present in everyone's minds.

"Lieutenant of Sixth, Abarai, says different."

A wave of unease disturbed the group. Slowly amber eyes flickered over to the impassive redhead, standing silent at the fringes. "I saw her...she was leaving with one--" his voice was strained, on the point of breaking. Yamamoto raised his hand, halting the pained recollection of the Soulreaper.

"We can only assume both Rukia Kuchiki of Thirteenth and Orihime Inoue had defected. They are to be considered traitors from now on."

~To be continued~

AN: I wonder if everyone realizes the one month time jump was the training in Soul Society and in the manga there's a scene where Rukia's outside on the rooftop looking at the moon--enter Lilynette in CH.7. :) So I made it fit. ;) Thanks for reading--no flames or idiotic spammers! Other than that, reviews are always appreciated! :)


	9. No way out

~No way out~

"Wouldn't Lord Aizen be pleased to know his orders were carried out, perhaps a little late but nonetheless to the letter? By me." Nnoitora smirked, "or..." the message was clear. Rukia knew without words, what the meaning was; either Stark would willingly march her before the traitor Aizen or allow another what he refused to do himself. She read the hesitation in the set of his body, the tensing of his muscles with the increase of reiatsu. Neither option appealed to him. A sort of relief possessed her at this thought. _He wouldn't willingly betray her again_.

_But if that were so then only one other way existed_...

_Killing the Arrancar before them. And that..._Rukia slowly slipped out of his arms and stood between them. Lilynette had become still, her one eye pleading for forgiveness. Rukia knew it hadn't been the fraccion's fault this had come about. Nor Stark's. It was easier to look away then see the triumph on the Arrancar's face.

"Take me to Aizen."

~*~

_Why? _ They went along the corridor to the Throne room in comparative silence. _Why had she given up._..? Stark couldn't understand_. Rukia_...her stride was easy, her feet bare on the tile floor. He then wondered if she was cold and regretted not giving her a pair of Lilynette's sandals to wear. _...What're you thinking?_

~*~

"Ms. Kuchiki, so glad you could join us." Though the ex Captain's words were spoken in a tone of general cordiality, Rukia still felt the biting sneer behind his mild voice and gaze resting on Stark who stood beside her.

"And...my Primera, clearly one as loyal as you deserves this rank. I commend you for this late surprise." Aizen added. Visibly he stiffened, his gray eyes hardened, "of course, my Lord."

"With the capture of Orihime Inoue by Ulquiorra and Rukia Kuchiki by yourself..."

She started and would've gone forward had not Lilynette grabbed a hold of her arm. A warning contained in her look.

"This has been a marvelous day indeed." Aizen finished, surveying them all.

~Living world~

"You're here about ..." Urahara's shadowed eyes took in the grim expressions of the three who had gathered in the training ground below his shop. "...opening a portal to Hueco Mundo, are you not, gentlemen?"

~To be continued~

AN: It's so cold here that I have to wear gloves when I type! Ack! Well! Here I am waiting for the (Three days grace) song--Never too late, so I decided to type out this little chapter while I was at it. Thanks for reading--no flames or idiotic spammers! But reviews are always appreciated.

Note: about the ending to this fic--would you like it to be happy--or...tragic? Please state in your review. :)


	10. Stay

~Stay~

The room was of medium-size. Everything was white. With effort, Rukia placed her back to the dismalness of the place she was to occupy, her thoughts in such twisted turmoil upon resting on Stark's inscrutable expression. _What are you thinking? _she wanted to know, sensing slight disappointment in his slouching posture in the doorway_. What was he so upset about that he could not-would not meet her eyes?_

"I wish you hadn't done this."

She started, surprised, "excuse me?"

There was a sadness that she didn't understand its cause, reflected in his somber eyes. Stark sighed, running a hand through his hair, "you know what I mean."

"No. I don't. What? You think I can read your mind?!" Rukia snapped. He seemed a little taken aback but then recovered himself quickly, "not at all." Then more quietly, "I don't think you realize what you mean to me."

She opened her mouth to speak--

Then realized, he was gone, the door had shut silently in his place.

Rukia balled her hands into fists, her unseeing gaze tilted downward to the zigzag patterns of the rug beneath her feet; _what do you mean?! Tell me...am I something to you_? Then she halted those thoughts. _Did she __want__ to mean something to an Arrancar_?

Even she could not answer that.

~*~

"Stark..."

He glanced and Lilynette leaned over and hugged him from behind. "I'm sorry you're not pleased." she said, her voice muffled against the fabric of his uniform. He was silent for a moment then reached awkwardly behind to pat her shoulder. Lilynette welcomed the pressure of his hand, the connection between them ever strong. _Elation. Regret. Sorrow. Pain_. Anger. Every single diverse emotion flowed through into her psyche. It was getting harder to separate the distinction of consciousnesses. It was like a sea...and sometimes she felt like she was drowning in it.

"I thought..." Lilynette began quietly, biting her lip. Though he made no move, she knew he was listening. "Nothing and no one could ever take you away from me." He shifted slightly as if meaning to turn around, Lilynette stopped him, " I always thought I was the one to ease our loneliness...but..." she hesitated, his confusion weighted her mind and made it hard to remember what she wanted to say. "I--" her lips trembled and it came out in a rush, "I know how you feel about her. So just say it, Stark! Tell her...how you feel." her voice ended in a whisper, strands of his thick wavy hair tickled her cheek. Lilynette felt something trickle from her eye when she closed it. _Oh, Stark_...she sensed him smile. _I know you love her and it's alright...end our loneliness for the both of us_.

~*~

_...For the both of us. _

Stark moved with a single purpose in his mind.

_...you..._

He came across none of the others and for that he was glad.

_love her._

His hand paused over the white door so like the rest lining the hall. He hesitated, knowing who was on the other side. _I love you, I think I do_. Many scenarios ran through his head, neither seeming to fit. _Would she accept what he was going to say_? _Or turn away from him in disgust_? Stark couldn't bear that. He hated not knowing yet was hesitant to act_. Tell her_... he remembered Lilynette and pushed the door open.

~*~

Rukia hopped up from the sofa, the moment the door opened. The tray of untouched food still lay near the wall; another Arrancar had brought it. In anticipation of the same, she was surprised yet again to find Stark, silent and stony-faced standing in the doorway, just...staring at her.

"Sta--" she was stunned-ne-shocked when she was abruptly pulled into his arms. "S-Stark?" suddenly it seemed as if her mouth didn't want to work. He was hunched slightly, bending to lessen the height difference between them. Her heart began pounding, she was afraid he might hear it. "Stark...let me go," she tried to sound calm even though she felt anything but_. _

"No."

Her eyes widened and she started to struggle. "Plea--"

"Shh." he kept her within the circle of his embrace, only sliding his hand forward, curving along her cheek to cup her face. "Rukia..." he stared into her eyes, holding her gaze, "I'm never going to let you go." his hesitation was evident as slowly he closed his eyes and leaned forward, closing the distance between them.

"I love you," he whispered against her lips.

~*~

A moment later, three familiar spirit pressures broke through into Las Noches.

_They had come for her._

~To be continued~

AN: happy ending is it? :) okay. I'll try! Thanks for reading--no flames or idiotic spammers! Reviews are always appreciated! :D


	11. No more words

~No more words ~

_I love you. _

She was speechless. _Had he really said that? _

Stark alarmed at once by her silence endeavored to not reveal his disappointment. He schooled himself to remain impassive despite the raging turmoil going through his mind. He thought maybe she didn't believe him. Which was proved by her shaky voice and faltering smile, "l-love me?" she seemed to be asking herself so he remained quiet.

She didn't dare ask how it came to be, the inscrutable expression he tried to wear did not fool her_. He was worried and afraid that maybe she didn't share the depth of feeling that existed in himself for her_. Rukia frowned, unable to meet his steady gaze. Her eyes closed and beneath her lids she felt the faraway hum and density of another's spirit pressure as recognizable as Stark's was to her. _Ichigo_...

Rukia was unaware that she had whispered it aloud.

The one before her immediately stiffened. Too late she sensed a coldness descend into the atmosphere of the room. Her eyes opened and she caught the look on his face visible for only a fleeting second before it to, vanished and he turned away. _Hurt_. It was as palpable to her as her own confusion. _He was hurt deeply_. Yet she could think of nothing to say to lessen it. To speak otherwise than a denial would be to give hope where there might never be reciprocation._ But_...her gaze was fixed ahead, her eyes staring unseeingly at an area of the wall. _She knew she wasn't entirely without..._

The door opened and the same Arrancar that had brought her the food, appeared. He took one narrowed glance at the intact tray and then his piercing green eyes rested on her for the briefest moment. She shot him a look of defiance. But apparently...he hadn't come solely to check on her again as warned, "Stark, there's a meeting."

The Primera moved to the door without looking back, joining his fellow member of the Espada in the doorway and passing through. Rukia felt a pang in her heart. She realized he had no more words to speak to her. _Possibly again_.

She sunk to her knees on the rug; she sensed the other staring at her for a moment longer than necessary and felt some anger at this. _Did Aizen know_? _Did he enjoy tormenting his soldiers--_

_Or_...her gaze lifted and locked with green. _Was he expecting her to rise and go after...?_

Ulquiorra closed the door.

She curled up, clutching her knees to her chest. Something cool trickled from her eyes and spiraled down her cheeks. _This wasn't happening. She wasn't crying._ _Rukia Kuchiki didn't shed tears_--

~*~

"They've come for her."

"I know," Stark kept his eyes focused ahead, never turning once to his comrade.

"You've allowed yourself to grow attached to some _thing_. It is unforgiveable." Ulquiorra stated plainly, unperturbed by the sudden anger-filled glare that he was favored by. "What I feel is none of your concern," Stark all but spat in the Cuatro's direction.

Lifeless green eyes lifted and met his look, "I suppose it isn't. However, I must ask, _will you kill that boy_? If so, you must request permission at the meeting from Lord Aizen."

He was near to answering a negative in response to the Cuatro's surety and then he remembered. _Ichigo..._his gray eyes turned flinty and he couldn't say a word.

They continued down the hall in a heavy silence.

~To be continued~

AN: there's still angst! ;) but I figured Rukia isn't the one to right away admit she did love him. ;) hence the confusion and everything... teehee. Thanks for reading--only a few more chapters to go! No flames, stupid comments, you know what I mean! Especially no spammers!

Otherwise, reviews are always appreciated. :)


	12. If I didn't care

~If I didn't care~

_Alone_. Her eyes opened. _Isolated_. It was strange that this sensation should bother her. _She was used to solitude, so why ..._? Rukia pulled herself up into a sitting position, folding her legs beneath her, her gaze tilted up contemplatively to the moon visible through the small window.

_Stark...Where was he now? Did he hate her? Did she love him? Was it even possible for him to fall in love? He seemed to believe so. "I'm never going to let you go." _ She wrapped her thin arms tightly around her torso, shivering slightly. His face. His expression...he had been serious. Rukia bit her lip. _"I love you."_ No one had ever said that to her. Oh, sure she had a couple of guy friends, but even she knew they didn't see her as anything above that. _Not even_--she refused to let her mind finish for her.

_It was enough, wasn't it? A compliment. More so considering their predicament_. Even if she did respond and return his--affections--it seemed too incongruous a word to associate with Stark. So mild and serious was he. She could not imagine_ him_ using the term 'dear' or 'honey' when addressing her. That belonged to deserving tender-hearted girls like Orihime.

_Orihime_...she hadn't hardly cast a thought to her in light of everything that had transpired. Somewhere, Rukia's eyes lifted and ran along the walls and ceiling, somewhere in this God-forsaken Palace her friend resided as well. But _he _hadn't done it. That thought alone provided some measure of comfort that she had heretofore been unable to find in the situation.

_Even if I did...love him...they_--

"Rukia."

She started and half-turned to meet the fraccion's stare.

"He told you..."

Not knowing what else to do, Rukia nodded, not missing the flash of emotion in her single eye.

"What did you say to him?" Lilynette's voice broke at the end of the sentence. Before Rukia could respond to the Fraccion's obvious distress, Lilynette continued in ragged tones, "he's angry and hurt..." small fists balled up, "I can feel his pain! What did you say to him?!"

Taken aback at the forcefulness she was confronted with, Rukia hesitated to answer, "I..." she looked askance, "_nothing_. I said nothing." In three strides, Lilynette had crossed the room. The sound of flesh being struck broke the quiet.

Her cheek stung.

Lilynette's hand was still upraised.

"If you didn't care..." the fraccion began, breathing hard with feeling, "then why did you come when I went to look for you?!"

Rukia flinched at the accusation. Silence filled the room and slowly, almost defiantly her gaze rose from the distance she had been staring into. Locking eyes with Lilynette, who stood before her, she said, "because I do."

"Then tell him. Don't say it to me, say it to Stark...before it's too late."

~*~

"My Lord," he began the moment the ex Captain had stopped speaking. Aizen's brow rose but he inclined his head regally, "continue."

"May I..." Stark hesitated, catching Ulquiorra's eye from a seat down from him, "have your permission to engage the Kurosaki kid the moment he reaches Las Noches?"

He heard Grimmjow's hiss, but ignored it. All that mattered was the pensive look he was favored by and narrowing of inscrutable brown eyes. "Perhaps...however there is one condition."

Stark had a feeling he wouldn't like it. "Name it," he forced himself to say.

Aizen slowly interlocked his fingers beneath his chin, his gaze resting on the Primera's stoic countenance. "Convince Rukia Kuchiki to side with us."

~To be continued~

AN: was it cliffy? ;) hehehehe. Thanks for reading.

No flames, stupid comments--you know what I mean! Or idiotic spammers!

Reviews are always appreciated. :)


	13. Lie to me

~Lie to me~

_Convince her_. It was well nigh impossible Stark knew to persuade her to do anything that she didn't want to. She had a mind of her own and sharper instincts than both him and Lilynette combined. _Which was saying a lot_. He wandered up and down the halls without ever finding a satisfying conclusion to the conundrum he was faced with.

He loved her. _Yes_.

Would do anything and everything possible to further her happiness and protect her. _Of course_.

He had never felt this way about anyone before, so he was at a loss on how to act. Passion wasn't a heavy characteristic in his make; the impetuosity belonged more to Lilynette than him. _Should he shower her in affection to prove he wouldn't give up so easily to the likes of that fake Shinigami_ _boy_? _Or would she resent such an obvious show and turn away_?

He stopped brooding and realized his feet had taken him to her door.

His hand rose, hesitating.

"Your Fraccion," interrupted a voice.

Stark glanced through narrowed, suspicious eyes at the Cuatro, who stood silently at the opposite end of the hallway. "What about...Lilynette?"

"She was with the captive yesterday."

Stark felt some surprise at this little bit of info, never mind the source. Lilynette hadn't said a word about visiting Rukia. _He wondered what they had spoken of_. Ulquiorra was still watching him with those damnable bright green eyes. There was a certain curiosity in his normally apathetic look that Stark found peculiar. _It was almost as if the Arrancar derived some depraved enjoyment this..._

"Is there some reason you're telling me this...Ulquiorra?" Stark kept his tone light, affixing his gaze on the other's near impassive face. Green eyes blinked and the hint of a slight smirk settled across black lips. "Not at all," he swung on his heel, walking away.

Stark stared after him for a moment, then shook his head tiredly and steeled his emotions for entering her presence.

~*~

"How are you?" _Good_. His voice sounded normal enough. She sat on the sofa, one arm draped lightly across her abdomen. She still wore the same yellow pajamas she had come in; Stark made a mental note to send for fresh clothes for her later. _Curious, how Ulquiorra hadn't done it already_.

"Fine," she answered shortly. An unpleasant silence of words unspoken hung between them. Rukia sensed it, but seemed loathe to break it. So, he attempted to. "I heard Lilynette came--"

"Who told you?!" she asked, her voice sharp.

Now he was more than ever curious about what they had talked about. "Ulquiorra." he replied, gauging her reaction. It was there. A slight sigh and lift of her chest as if a weight had been eased.

"Stark--"

"Rukia--"

They stared at each other; her brow rose.

"Go on," she began.

"No, you." he insisted.

Rukia frowned a bit, tilting her gaze downward in a way that he knew meant whatever she was going to say was painful to her.

He waited patiently.

"You don't know..." she struggled, "since you don't know what we...spoke about. She--she asked me something and I was forced to reflect on it before I gave my answer..."

"What did...she ask?"

Her eyes screwed shut, "I don't know if I can love you!"

Something wrenched painfully inside, Stark tried to keep his emotions at bay and nearly succeeded in sounding impassive, "is that all?"

She shook her head violently, "I came because I care for you."

He held his breath.

"I--I don't know if it's love or not. Hell..." she smiled shakily, "I don't even know if I'm worth being loved."

"Don't say that." Stark hesitatingly stepped closer. "You're everything to _me_." Slowly he clasped her chin and lifted her gaze upward. "I love you, Rukia," he said quietly. Her smile grew softer, "you fool. You keep saying that and I think I'm starting to believe you."

_He knew he had won some kind of small victory with that admission_. _Now if only--_

She turned her face. He scowled as his lips brushed her cheek, missing their mark."Not yet," Rukia murmured, a pout gracing her mouth. Stark jerked her forward, his expression serious, "why not?"

"Because I--"

He grazed her lips lightly and she started back.

"If you care about me then--"

"But not--" he leaned down in one swift motion, moving aside the tendrils of her hair to get at her throat. She squealed, feeling his tongue dart out and flick over the line of her neck.

"Stark!" she gasped. Gently he pulled away, noting with satisfaction the small flushed patches of skin and blush adorning her cheeks. _How cute_. Rukia covered the hickeys with her hand, clearly embarrassed, "oh great...now how am I going to explain this?"

"What? You mean to Ulquiorra?" Stark smirked, thinking of the busybody Cuatro. _But still...he had one other thing to accomplish_. _Lying...would be the hardest part_.

"Rukia..."

She squealed again as he swung her easily onto his lap.

They had exchanged places _almost_; he sat while she faced him, her legs on either side of his waist, his hands steadied her and gently eased her forward. "Rukia," he frowned when she looked away. Their faces were nearly touching. He was gratified to feel the rapid flutter of her heart increase with every inch lessened between them.

"Rukia, look at me," he demanded with a touch of coolness to his voice. Slowly, she turned, shaking slightly; _in some fear_, he realized with dismay. _He hadn't wanted her to be afraid of him_. "Don't be afraid," he soothed to which she snapped in her usual way of showing bravado. "I'm not! As if I could ever be..." she faltered, confronted with the slight pout of his mouth. Hesitantly, she closed her eyes, pressing her lips together...and kissed him.

~*~

He kept her close, his arms around her, her forehead against his. One hand had carefully stolen up and threaded itself through his wavy hair. _She was ashamed of how she was acting_, he knew and couldn't help but feel some disappointment that naturally followed this realization.. _She wasn't wholly accepting of him nor of her own feelings. That they existed, _he was of no doubt. He felt her fingers slide caressingly through his dark locks and rest briefly on his shoulder. He heard her sigh and judged it was time.

"Rukia...?"

"Hm?"

"I have something I need to tell you," he kept his voice low, allowing a tone of grievance to lend color to his words. "Aizen...that bastard..."

She hissed.

_This would be only too easy_. "He--he wants you to defect from the Shinigami--"

"Never!" she started moving as if to get up, but he didn't allow her to pull away.

"If you refuse...he will punish _me_." Stark felt her stiffen in his hold as the import of his meaning sunk in. _Harm you_. He could sense her mind was seething in rage but...not toward him. _Towards another more blamable source_. _Though she didn't know it, she was playing right into his hands_.

"So, if I..." her lips trembled.

_He felt almost contrite deceiving her in such a way, however_..."you don't have to," he said, concealing the smile in his voice. "I understand--"

"No, you don't! I--I don't want you to get hurt because of me and--and Lilynette. What would happen to her if you weren't here?" her outburst faded and her tone grew quiet, calmer, resigned. Stark didn't bother reminding her that he and Lilynette were the same being. If something happened to him, she would disappear as well.

"I..."

_Say it_.

"Tell Aizen...I will." she sounded defeated.

He held her closer. _Good girl_. His eyes closed. _You've just signed Ichigo Kurosaki's death warrant_. _Because...I won't let anyone take you away from me_.

~To be continued~

AN: one more chapter to go. I wonder if it makes sense? The Arrancars being evolved Hollows, had two sides to them. Stark's more human side would've maybe let her go if he thought she'd be happier. His Hollow side however was the jealousy that drove him to agree and bargain with Aizen to kill Ichi.

Thanks for reading.

No flames, stupid comments (you know what I mean!) or idiotic spammers!

Reviews are always appreciated! :)


	14. What tomorrow brings

~What tomorrow brings~

_A day and an hour later..._

Stark undressed mechanically, depositing his clothes carelessly onto the gleaming floor. He stepped forward into the wide marble bath and the clang of metal rings sliding on the oval bar above grated on his ears. The hot water streamed in rivulets through his thick wavy hair and ran down the panes of his face. Caked blood disintegrated and dyed the water a reddish ocher falling to the greedy drain below.

_It was done._

He breathed in, the steam tickling his nostrils.

_The boy had been good. Not trash like Ulquiorra maintained_.

His hand rose absently and laid on the tap, the door creaked open, Lilynette peered in. "Stark, are you almost done?" she was quieter today. Maybe it was because of what had transpired. It wasn't everyday that betrayal and the fall of a would-be God happened. Stark for his part was glad of the Shinigami boy's assistance in the whole affair. Without_ him_, he was sure he would've been hard-pressed to deal with Kyokasuigetsu.

_Rukia would be proud_..._once she knew._

~*~

"It's time to go," he called to Lilynette. He could sense several different Captain-level spirit pressures entering Hueco Mundo's atmosphere. News traveled fast. Clearly the boy had wasted no time on contacting his allies. Stark felt a brief flicker of annoyance in sensing the boy's unusually high reiatsu approaching _her_ room. For a moment, he wished he had chosen differently then shook that thought away.

_What was done was done. There would be no going back._

Lilynette had crept up silent as a shadow beside him. "Stark," she reached for his hand and clung tightly just as a child seeking comfort would. _Some things would never change_.

"Hmm?" he tore open a Garganta.

_The sky and world were inviting now_.

"What're we going to do once we get there?" she asked, tugging on his hand.

Stark yawned, "I think I'm going to take a nap."

"Tch! Figures, lazy ass--"

"Or maybe," he said with a smile, "we'll just wait and see when tomorrow comes..."

They stepped through and were gone from sight.

~Epilogue: The moon, no longer lonely.

_A month..._

The moon was full.

She set off. Leave had finally been given and she'd stayed with Orihime during the day. As friends they were, as captives they had once been. But, she knew, their circumstances couldn't have been more different.

_'That guy...' Ichigo spoke hesitantly, 'the Primera helped me defeat Aizen. I don't know why he did it...' the Shinigami sub trailed off._

_Stark. She bit her lip, steeling herself for the worst, 'where is he?' _

_He wasn't among those detained nor had she seen..._

_'He sacrificed himself to let me get in the final blow.'_

She hadn't cried. Not once. Tears were a human weakness that Shinigami didn't indulge in.

The play of light on the white-washed streets drew her gaze upward.

She turned away.

She didn't like looking at the moon anymore.

For some reason it made her feel..._lonely_.

In the Park.

Her steps were muffled, almost soundless.

She was glad. She came upon him at unawares.

~*~

Rukia blinked. Willing her sight to stop being swayed by the moon lunacy.

He was still there.

She forced herself to close her eyes and count silently to ten.

"Nice night for moon-watching, isn't it?" queried the familiar voice in lazy accents.

Her eyes flew open.

Arrancar and Shinigami stared at one another.

Her throat closed up and liquid burned beneath her lids.

A thousand things wanted to flow forth and only one fell from her numb lips.

"I love you."

"I know," Stark said, smiling softly.

In the treetop above, Lilynette snored away.

Rukia sniffled and flew forward into his arms.

"You fool!" she beat him as only she knew how.

Stark said nothing.

Because really, words were meaningless.

There.

Together.

In silence and in shadow...

The moon's loneliness had finally ended.

~Fin~

AN: damn. I wanted to get a wee bit choked up on the epilogue! ;.- Well there it is. The end. I wonder if you guys are happy now? ;) Starkie did was what right in the end instead of allowing blind emotion to dictate his actions. So...sniff. I like how it came out. :)

Thanks for reading this fic, I hope you enjoyed it.

No flames, stupid comments (you know what I mean!)

Reviews are always appreciated! :)


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